On Tuesday, the Emmy-winning actress, 53, appeared on Elizabeth Vargas’ podcast “Coronary heart of the Matter” and referred to as her relationship with medicine “very abusive.”
“Oh, my God, simply fascinated about that point of my life, it provides me chills,” Johnston recalled. “The factor I’m happiest about in my life is that I’m not utilizing. It truly is, as a result of… there isn’t any larger hell.”
The “Mother” star described how she would drink “two bottles of wine an evening and popping 10, 20, 30 drugs a day.”
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Johnston admitted that her dependency got here from not understanding methods to deal with fame.
Actress Kristen Johnston spoke about how she struggled dealing with fame and turned to medicine and alcohol.
(Frazer Harrison/Getty Pictures)
“It actually wasn’t enjoyable. The work was enjoyable, however every little thing that got here with it was so terrifying to me,” she mentioned. “I didn’t understand till later that I lived in a state of absolute panic for 10 years… It was simply loopy. I had no capacity that I’ve immediately of simply placing [things] into perspective, and like, ‘Oh, recover from it. Simply transfer on. There’s extra vital issues to fret about.’ I hate to say that I used to be a cliche, however I actually was. I imply, I used to be an actress who couldn’t deal with it. Couldn’t deal with the celebrity.”
Johnston mentioned she felt “loneliness” and “isolation” and turned to drugs to assist ease her ache.
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“For a very long time, it was like an abusive relationship,” she mentioned. “You’re not absolutely dedicated to this man who beats you. He is available in, you break up, you go for a pair months with out seeing him, then he pulls again up on his bike and also you begin relationship him once more. It was like an on-off relationship for 4 years, and it solely grew to become actually unhealthy after third Rock. … I used to be capable of preserve a lid on it for a few years, after which we grew to become married, me and my opiates, a few years after third Rock, and it was a really, very abusive relationship.”
(L-R): Allison Janney as Bonnie and Kristen Johnston as Tammy in "Mother"
(Monty Brinton/CBS through Getty Pictures)
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Johnston mentioned she had a second of “sanity” when she landed within the emergency room whereas in London on New 12 months’s Eve. “That began my journey to restoration,” she defined.
Whereas Johnston was capable of get sober, her sister was not and sadly died in August 2020 after affected by habit for years.
“It was only a very painful factor for my household. So, I hook up with individuals who talk with me, the family members of addicts and the addicts, as a result of I’ve been each,” she mentioned.